Spanish Fly?

It's always nice to wake up to good news. So, while Greece is making a Drachma out of a crisis it was heartening to read this story about a Spanish village, albeit desperately, reinstating the Peseta. We could learn a thing or two there - get out your old white fivers and 'thrupenny bits' (That's not rhyming slang, ladies!). Bring back £sd - beatify the bob, salute the sixpence and flaunt the florin. And far better, confuse the bejasus out of Johnny Foreigner by reverting to a dual number base currency.

But today, on Valentine's day, spare a thought for bewildered lovers Ed & Ed Miliballs as they, equally desperately, try to disparage the coalition's mission to pay down our deficit and react to a report which essentially says we need to keep on track, by insisting we go into reverse. Poor loves, they're missing their pocket money which they used to spend on the multicultural, diverse yet inclusive sweets, otherwise known as electoral bribes. That their opposition is restricted to prescribing more of the same is telling; Labour would rather adopt a treasonous policy of bankrupting the country than admit they were ever wrong.

But, what am I thinking? D'oh! The Spanish solution would never work, would it? After all those years of culti-multural successes dumbing-down we'd have no chance with our proper old currency. The kids could hardly be expected to handle fractions - half-crowns, farthings - when they've never seen one. And as for counting up to twelve... (Oh, don't you miss proper money?) I would give three guineas, twelve shillings and sixpence ha'penny to see them trying.

So, what to do? Short of turning the clocks back to Groats, Reales, Escudos and pieces of eight and taking to the high seas, I guess we must muddle along with what we've got. So, in view of peace and harmony I wrote a valentine's poem:

Roses are red

Violets are blue-ish

Ed Balls is brilliant

And the Pope is still Jewish.